I Proved Them Wrong

I was born on July 9,1960, at St. Mary's hospital in Detroit Lakes. When I was born, I weighed 5 pounds, 1 ounce. I could not breathe for 11 minutes, because the cord was wrapped around my neck. I stayed at St. Mary's until I was 6 months old. On October 18, I was taken to the University of Minnesota Hospital in Minneapolis and brought back to St. Mary's in November.  I stayed there until February and then was moved to a home in Roseau.

This was a children's home with about 12 kids living there. I was just like a rag doll and could not hold my head up or move around.

A lady named May owned the home. It was a big house. May had her room upstairs so when one of us would start crying she would hear us.

Once, when May was at the post office, she saw a lady she knew. This lady lived out in the country and was a neighbor. While they were talking, May asked if she would come and work for her. The lady said that she did not know if she could do the kind of work needed at the home, but she would come and help out for two weeks. She continued working after the two weeks were up. When she felt sad, she would come and hold me. Then, when I learned to talk, I started calling her "mom".

At the home there was a light that stayed on all the time. I was afraid of the dark. They played church programs on the radio every morning. I remember hearing the song "The Old Rugged Cross".

One summer day, the staff had some clothes on the line when it started to rain. A lady walking by stopped to help get the clothes off the line. After they got the clothes down, May asked her in for coffee. This lady's name was Jane and she later came to work at the home. One day, Jane brought the kids from her Bible Class to the home to see us. After they got back to church some of the parents got mad because in those days a lot of people didn't understand about us. They didn't realize that we were no different from other kids.

A man named Bill worked as a bookkeeper for May. They went out together and eventually got married. They started talking about building bigger home for us. It took all winter, and in the spring of 1966 we moved in. They had an Open House for the public to come and see the new home Bill loved to bake so he baked all the goodies for the Open House.

When you walked into the new home there was a lobby, and from there you would go into a hallway. There was a West and an East wing, six bedrooms (three on the West end, one in the middle, and two on the East end). There were two big playrooms, one upstairs and one in the basement and a laundry room. We were in the playroom all day. There was also kitchen and a room where they would give all of us baths. We were all in cribs because we were still babies.

When the staff came to work in the morning, each of them had a room full of kids that they were responsible for. Breakfast was at 7:00 a.m., then they would start work and go until 5:00p.m. The evening staff would work until 9:00 p.m., and then the night shift would work all night. One woman would start her night shift early.

As I got older, I was on the end where the bigger kids were. I had about ten roommates in the same big room with the cribs lined up against the wall In the evening we would talk. There was a little room in the lobby where they had a radio and a record player with speakers in every room of the home sometimes, they would have the radio on in the evening, and at Christmas they would play Christmas music.

There was one boy who was really big. His name was Rob and his bed was by the door of our room. He was in bed most of the time because he was so heavy. He had a toy that would make bubbles when you put water in it.  Sometimes, when the staff went for supper break, one of the kids would take the toy and put water in it. Then they would give it back and Rob would make bubbles. When I would get into trouble he would sometimes tell the staff on me.

Sometimes I would watch the cook, and at other times they would let me go to the other wing to see mom on the days that she worked. One day, on my way to see mom, I went in the staff wash room, got a pail of water and put soap in it. I washed the table. I took the pail back to get clean water and when I was in the washroom, Bill came in the door. He got mad. He asked in a loud voice, "Who is taking care of Pedie?" Then the staff came and took me to my room and put me to bed. I got up for supper and then they put me back to bed again.

Mom worked with the babies and sometimes she worked the night shift. In the morning, Mom would come and get me up, take me to the bathroom, get me something to eat, and then put me back to bed. When the morning staff came, they would get me up and dress me. Then we would go into the playroom for most of the day. A gate was used as a door to keep us in the playroom so we couldn't go into the hall and fall down the stairs.

Some evenings, a lady came and did exercises. She would have me walk between the parallel bars. She noticed that I sat the wrong way, so she told the worker that if they saw me sitting that way, they were to tell me to sit the right way.

One night, after Mom was done working in the other wing, she came to our wing to visit. I got up and went to talk to her but she told me that she could not talk to me at that time. I got mad and tipped a pan of water all over. Then she got mad at me. She took me to my room and got dry PJs on me and put me back to bed. The next day I got in trouble with the day worker.

The staff would call me "big ears" now and then because when I heard them talking, I would repeat what they had said and even tell on them. At times, they would not know I was there when they were talking and I would hear everything they said. When Mom was working, I would tell her what I heard and when the workers found out I would get in trouble.

I didn't like showers. I was afraid of them. Once, one of the staff took me in the room where the tub was and gave me a shower. It took three people to help her. I think they were mad at me and I fought them all the way. I was so scared by the soap in my eyes and by the people holding me down that I was glad when they finished and put me to bed.

A lady named Mrs. Rob came into the home to teach school. Mrs. Rob said that she had not had any experience with the handicapped before but she had just completed a training course at summer school at the request of one of the social workers. We had school in the basement of the home in the big play room with all new school furniture. We went to school from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m.

The first year we worked on basic skills. In the morning we had opening exercises and then Mrs. Rob would read us a story. Next we had health, where we learned to be potty trained and to brush our teeth.

We had gym, with a mat where we learned how to roll over and turn somersaults. Some of the kids learned to walk on the balancing beam, and we learned how to bounce balls.  In our music class, another teacher would come and play the piano and we would sing. It was fun. Some of us would have a favorite song that we would ask her to play and we would sing along.

We had language classes where we learned to talk and Mrs. Rob would read us a story. We also learned how to be polite--we had to say please and thank you and learned table manners. If we did not say please we didn't get our treat.

We had play time when we could play with the toys and move around and do other things.

At meal time the staff would bring the food to the playroom. On the other end they would feed the kids in their rooms.

We had supper at 4:00 p.m., then we would go to bed at 5:00 p.m. and stay there until 7:00 a.m. There was a TV in each of the rooms and in the evening we would watch TV until 9:00 p.m. and then go to sleep.

One day there was a man that came in to build a wall between the classroom and the laundry room. I was afraid that they were going to trap me in the basement. They told me that they would make a door.

The second year we got an aide. Her name was Mrs. Henry and she had a mongoloid boy.

Mrs. Rob had a small ruler that she would use on us when we were bad. She would slap our hands, but not hard. It would just sting a little bit.

One day I wrote a letter to mom that Mrs. Rob helped me with and he are some of the things I said: "Dear Mommy, Why won't you write, how is my baby brother? What did you do today? I moved my bed back into the corner. The other night I had a nightmare, I dreamt about my family but woke up and realized that it was only a dream." Mrs. Rob told me maybe I could go home with them, but I did not go.

There was a woman on the staff that I really liked a lot. Once, she stayed at the home all night. In the morning the night worker got me up so I could wake her up for work.

One day, when Mom was working, I asked if I could go home with her. She asked May if she could take me home with her overnight and May said, "yes". That night the worker did not put me to bed. When Mom was done working, one of the other staff gave us a ride to her house.  I thought that I was so big! When it was time for bed, I could not go to sleep, and kept talking to her. She kept telling me to go to sleep and finally, I did. In the morning I had to go back because Mom had to work. I got mad and had a fit because I didn't want to go back.

Our home was by a river, and one spring the river flooded. The water got into the basement and they had to take the clothes to the laundromat. It was a big job because there were so many clothes.

A new baby girl moved into the home. Her mom and dad would come and see her. It was not too long after that, that her mom did not come, but her dad did. One of the workers started going with him and I got to know him. Then one day, the baby died. I'm not sure why the baby died, but I think she was sick.

The man who had the baby would come every morning and bring milk to the home. One day, they told me that this man and the worker were going to get married. I was told that if someone would take me, I could go to the wedding but I didn't get to go. One night they came and brought their dog to visit us.

Once, when Mom was working all night, she moved my bed into the hallway. I stayed awake most of the night and thought that I was really big. In the morning before the staff came to work, she moved the bed back to my room.

One day, when Mom got home after work, there was a note on the table that said her husband had been let out of the Vet Hospital.  One of the workers was out on the playground, and Mom's husband came to the fence to ask where she was. The worker said she didn't know where Mom was. She told May, who told Mom and then someone called the cops. They knew who he was and one of them picked him up when he was walking and brought him back to the hospital. Mom told me about it. We were afraid, but we were glad when he was caught.

Something else I remember from my early days was a roommate of mine that went to the big school. One day there was a party for him with a cake because he was going to move. The next day, he stayed after class with the music teacher and made a tape for the class. The next day, he moved to his new home.

One little girl that lived in the home would always try to run away. Sometimes she was successful and the staff would look all over. In the wintertime, just when they were putting us to bed, I looked out a peep hole by the back door. I saw the outside door open and the little girl came in. She got in trouble.

At that time, we did not get out a lot. Sometimes I would get to because I got to go with Mom. One spring day Mrs. Rob said that she would take us for walks, but we would have to take turns. Each morning she would take one of us.  Mrs. Henry would go with and she would take someone too. Some of us could walk, but most of us were in wheel chairs. The day I went, we got to go meet her husband. It was fun.

Once or twice a year there was a party for us when our moms and dads came to visit. We all went to City Hall. It was something new for us. A lot of the other kids' moms and dads came but mine never came. The worker I called Mom had to help May and Bill out, so she couldn't spend much time with me. When we got home, I was mad that my mom and dad did not come.

I would visit with the other kids' moms and dads.

Once, we all got the flu and some of us had to stay in bed. All we had to eat was toast and milk. Another time the furnace went out. It was so cold in the building they put some little heaters in most of the rooms. We had to stay in bed so we wouldn't get sick.

One boy had to wear braces. He would get mad and cry when they put the braces on him. Sometimes he would do that in school, and Mrs. Rob would get mad at him and tell him to quit or she would really give him something to cry about.

Almost every afternoon just before school ended, we would have story time. She also had a board that she would put pictures on, and she would tell the story that way too.

One night I got really sick and had a fever. I was up all night and the next morning they took me to the hospital where I was in a room by myself. I was afraid, but mom would come and see me. She would rock me. I didn't like it when the nurse came in to give me a shot, or to take my blood.

There was a cook I liked. Sometimes, I would call her mom. Every night the garbage men would come and every now and then the cook would ask them in for coffee. I got to know them. The milk man would come every weekday morning.

Some of the babies who were in the home had water heads. There was one baby whose head was as big as a watermelon. She also had a big bump on her back. It took two workers to turn her. There was a big window in the door of the room, and also a big picture of Jesus lying in the manger.

Once in a while the staff would have a party at night. When they did, we would play in our room during the day because they were getting the playroom ready for the party. Once, mom came and got me out of bed and took me to the party. Some of the staff didn't like it.

There was a little boy that would bite people whenever he was mad or excited. One day, Mom told him that if he did not quit biting people, she would take him to the dentist and have all his teeth pulled. "No", the boy said. "O.K." Mom said, "but quit biting people."

It seemed that everyday before we went up to our floor, we would lie down and rest. One day the power went out so they couldn't play records. Mrs. Rob and Mrs. Henry sang the "Lord's Prayer," then after school was out, we went upstairs.

One Easter we had a party and Mrs. Rob told us we could dress up and have an Easter parade in the hall. She told us that we would have to be good, so we were. May had her movie camera and made a movie of us.

Pedie Pederson

Living Like A Winner